From director Peter Berg ( The Kingdom, Hancock) and Hasbro studio, Battleship is an average CGI fest with the proverbial alien doomsday plot played out to earsplitting proportions. The plot is somewhat similar to Transformers 3, except that instead of Autobots, you have the US naval fleet with the thoroughly annoying Taylor Kitsch (who is becoming like Shia Le Beouf -manages to land up as the lead in gargantuan budget movies and thereby decreasing the tolerance level by several notches).

 YES MR. PRODUCER! I WILL SINK THIS MOVIE LIKE THE SHIP I AM ON! REMEMBER JOHN CARTER, EH?

Accompanying him is Japanese superstar Tadanobu Asano (nothing to speak about) … and…

.

.

.

 Dafuq am I doing in this movie? Dafuq is this in my hands?

The less said, the better.

Anyways.

There is one moment in the movie in which the naval crew uses the tactics of the Battleship board game to successfully outwit the dumbass aliens.

Best part of the movie, that.

As for the aliens, they look like Master Chief in the Halo game i.e.

YEAAAHHH!! AM I BADASS OR WHAT?

But take off their helmets and they look slightly better than..

Yeah. No kidding.

The climax of the movie is more cliched and hammy than the Bollywood 70s. The mega-scale destruction and screeching explosions become a bit irritating after some time and at the end, you are left as jaded as the performance of Rihanna.

Verdict : Watch only if you are a hardcore fan of explosion movies and don’t give a fig about dialogues, plot, character development and all that jazz.

2/5 stars

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